Worst Experience

There again i know something that i wasn't suppose to know. Am asking myself how many times i have to cover for you? Or how many times can i cover it for you? You should be more responsible on what you're doing. This ain't a way to solve your problem, then by letting the problem fall on another person. Do you think it is a right way? Since the day i met you it was the biggest mistake and god are you making fun on me huh? i wanted to admit that fate fall in our hands and now i strongly disagreed. My life seem to be control by you, i have to face what i do not want to face. I have to see wad i don't want to see. And now i have to do something that i don want to do. What is life all about? Hurting each other? Note for you, "You are literally driving me insane"!!!!!

Gorge

I keep gorging myself with foods. It make me more and more bulbous. Probably this is a way to release stress and pressure. When one's get older the more commitment we have to face or deal with. Just done with feet vinegar soaking in order to remove the callous. Feel great and fresh!!

Human Born Are Soft

The sound, The music of F.A.R.T

Lose Control

Learn To Steal ?

Results

Yeshhhhhhh....... Got my results and passed with credits. Work hard and u'll be paid for it. Looking forward for my last semester to start, 3 subject left. Hopefully can get a better result by years end.. *RAWL* Chris you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!! Sadly, left 2 week holiday and i'm still stuck in Kuching.

Tears & Living In Fears

When will it end? Will i just stop crying before bed? Tears come like a flood that as if never goin to dry up. Will i ever know why I fall asleep crying at night. Just the feeling of being alone makes me shudder. A constant war goin on in my body, everyday, every second. When will it end. Feelings take over my body like i have no control. First Im happy, then Im sad, then all of a sudden Im crying. It's pretty sad that the parents you live with, talk about you behind your back. For me it feels like when you lie down on those rafts in the waterand you drift away. But for me, i don't come back. I just keep drifting into space. I don't mean to sound desperate, but will someone please tell me when my tears will dry. When will it end? Everyday living in fear and pressure about something that can actually be predicted before it happened. Someone told me "seek for god's help" but personally i don't think it will help. Problem creates by human, so human have to face and solve the problem. In order to escape D.I.E is the only so called coward solution. I don't mind to be coward if the "road is full of bumpy".

Sushi (3rd Attempt)

Unagi, ebiko, corn, california maki and 3 belly pork sushi maki. Kind of tiring espcially doing the corn and ebiko sushi but worth it. You'll find the fun in between the process. Haha.. 

G.R.I.E.F

How I envy those poets and authors. They can toss words into the air and have them fall in perfect order. Why is it so easy to pour out my grief in a poem? And so difficult to capture joy in print. Joy exists in a fleeting moment whereas grief lasts forever. Takes one to feel grief , two to feel joy. My joy has already been shared and thus multiplied. My grief till now has been private, alone in the dark my grief mushrooms. I need to find a friend to halve the burden. Will you be that friend?

We all grieve differently, some grieve quietly. Solemn in their grief not wanting. To show their pain while some are loud letting the pain out for all to see and then beginning the long battle of healing. Some hold their grief in for so long that eventually it eats at them causing them to misdirect it. In different ways unknowingly pointing, the pain of loss toward others not wanting of it or deserving when instead they should be letting go and moving on. Grief is not a friend for it makes one angry, sad, exhausted, and confused. Grief is an unwanted guest for it stays for a long, long, time. Seemingly never wanting to leave, once in a while it will allow some peace but for only a brief time span, It would rather curl it’s black tentacles around and keep you in it’s grip forever and then one day you realize you are starting to feel a little better. As the seasons change so do we in time, we shall heal and start to get back into routine and realize grief is finally packing up to end it’s long overstayed visit for it was a long process this visit from grief. Each day gets a little better keep on moving, stay busy. One day, Grief is finally gone until the next time it is required to visit again.

"Grief is a feeling like you’ll never let go. It sounds like the sobbing of a broken heart. It tastes like a desert, dry and flavorless. It smells like freshly turned dirt on a grave. Grief feels like you just can’t go on."

Having the love of your life, break up with you and say "we can still be friends" is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it."

Maid Of Honor (Bridesmaid)

St Joseph's Church (From left to right - Brother, Mum, Dad, Me), taken in 5-6 yrs ago?)

(Brother, Me) Photo retaken from the 'paper photo' using a handy cam, that's why it so blurry. The only white dress i worn before. Memories~

Beetle

Cook & Eat Alive

H1N1 Song

Self Console

I had finished up all the durian bought yesterday, full and satisfy. Decided to sit down and write something for this blogs. Well, 17th days had past but things still in the same order. I cant get rid of that matter yet, he had crossed the line!

Do you know that inside every one of these flower lives a flower spirit. They're even smaller than our fingers, on their back they all have a big and transparent pair of beautiful wings. However, one flower spirit looked different from the rest. Its back do not have a pair of beautiful wings, but only a pair of tiny buns an unappealing pair of buns. Other flower spirit laughed at it because of this and said that it's not a flower spirit. They all refused to be its friends. When other flower spirit dance happily in the air, it could only walk on the ground with its two legs. It started running very hard to catch up with the rest. Run.. and run.. until it was so tired that it fainted on the ground. When it woke up, it felt its back hurting very badly, it turned to look and saw a big and beautiful pair of wings. It was so happy. From then on, no one ever laughed at it again. "Am i the flower spirit or just a grass spirit in a big flower garden"? i don know how long i can survive. Sigh~~ Sleep. Get a good night sleep, when you wake up you will see that you've also grown out a pair of colourful wings And you'll feel better! - Self Console!!

Firework

Firework (Outside My House Compound)

Durian

Had some durian just now about 3-4 hour ago. I start to burp and it all smell of durian. Bought 4 durian rm30. Had eaten 2 and left 2 in d fridge, continue tommorrow.

Missing The Memories

Shot some of the picture thru the wash out picture using "modern camera", dat's the reason why it is so unclear. Sorry about that :o) Some of the picture are actually out of colour so decided to post some in my blog before it really ruin. Miss the memories, no stress and all we know is just play! Life now is different, got to be responsible on every action we take, think twice before doing. That's the sign old "aging". Friends remmember all this fun loving time? Well, not much friends know about this blogs actually.. Hehez..

World Guiness Book Record (Dummy) Part 2

World Guiness Book Record (Dummy) Part 1

 

Meow Meow~

    FaFa

DoDo

Kuching

Matang
Sematan Beach
Damai Beach Resort

A Girl Been Neglected

In the dark corner sits a girl, she hardly speak up her mind to anyone. A lost and lonely girl who sheds a single tear thinking she has not purpose in life. Mom and dad don't really care, she doesn't have value in life. Never anyone there to help her with her strife and tripping over problems. Or simply just don't understand my situation and thinking. All they care is what they want me to do. But never ask me whether i can or not, am willing to do it or not, am i able to do it or not. She desperately wish that there was someone to help her on her way and bring her far far away from this place. A single friend in life that really truly cares but no one is found. At her fragile heart it tears a sad and lonely life she lives. So she sits in the corner and cries. Hurt her arms a little and wishes she would die so the misery will no more. So listen to me I'm trying to make you see for that girl in the corner that lonely girl is me!!!!

Sometimes i wish i was a little girl again because bruised knees heal faster than a broken and disappointed heart especially to a lost girl. My sister told me this before, "Sometimes we have to do tasks that we may not be interested but along the way we may develop interest or even find something else of interest. If we don't go out and try, put in effort how can we know what we want?" Honestly, i want to reply her "I want to try, I want to put in effort but please don't pour cold water on me when i'm trying"! As a parent they should encourage not pouring cold water on me when i'm on my way to change. I know it's a shame that you had this kind of daughter, i remembered clearly how you compare me to others daughters. BUT do you think i want to be your daughter? Naturally i blamed you for bringing what i am today, but i shoudn't think it this way. After all it's my own fault! I want you to know nobody is born flawless. I feel pressure to face you. I envy those who are able to talk, jokes and doing things together with their family. I'm the one who always been left out during dinner. Sitting there like a fool, everyone is busy talking about their stuff. A family dinner is all about business? I hate what i have now. Not a single things went smoothly.

I've made a mistake in my life. I've let people taking advantage of me and i accepted way to less than i deserve. I just want you to know, "I'm done pretending! I want to tell you "No, i'm not okay with the fact that you broke my heart and disappointed me way too much"! I know what's in your mind, I know you know that you know me so well that you think what you did can be forgiven. I know you think i can easily forgive and forget. But i just want you to know for the very last time, i will prove to you that "NO, You don't know me well at all"! Let me prove to you, how heartless can a girl goes if one day she really get fed up. I dare you to challenge me this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eggs??

What eggs is this? Anyone?? Look like table tennis ball to you? Let guess..

Serikin

The road to MJC and serikin. Take about 10 minutes to reach MJC and 1 hours drive to serikin town. It is near to the indonesia's border. Able to find those limitation goods such as lv, gucci, prada, etc , local handicraft and so on. Around 30-40 roadside stores. Most important you are able to get something which you cant find it often/always in town and which is the illegal turtle eggs. Open only on saturday (Whole day) and sunday (half day).

This is one of the cave located near Serikin. It's the view from the main road. The entrance fees is Rm 8 per adult and Rm 4 per kids. From there take about 20-30 minutes drives to reach Serikin. Actually i forgot what's the name of the cave. Hehez.. There are few caves located near that area.

Tortoise?

A restaurant located outside the cave.





Finally, SERIKIN!!!!!!!











Roadblock, but i din't see any policeman!! Maybe out for lunch :o)

My Friends

Hey friends (especially those who leave me a comment out there), I appreciate your kindness more than words can say. The very nice thing you did for me and it really made up my day.

Thank you friend, for all the things that mean so much to me. For concern and understanding you give abundantly.
Thanks for listening with your heart for cheering me when I'm blue. For bringing out the best in me and just for being you.
Thanks for in-depth conversation that stimulates my brain. For silly times we laugh out loud and for things I can't explain.
For looking past my flaws and faults. For all the time you spend. For all the kind of things that you do.

Thank you, thank you friend.

MJC

Sorry for the blurry picture. Anyways, what this tent for in a food/funfair?



TA DAAAAAAAAAHH

TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Left for guy, Right for girl Well, i know it's lame but i never seen this before.

Gastralgia

Just woke up 1 hour ago without delay i rush to the washroom. Ok, let's start with today's words of thought.

"Today I found myself lost in this world with nobody near me. I felt like shit. I wanted to hide but made jokes about myself and how I’m a lonely girl lost in this world with no where to go and no one to hug and depend on. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t imagine people near me laughing and teasing me."

Sometimes & Someday

Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow,
Sometimes we must fail in order to know,
That our vision clear only after our eyes are wasted away with tears!!

Someday you'll cry for me, Like i cried for you!
Someday you'll miss me, Like i missed you!
Someday you'll need me, Like i needed you!
Someday you'll love me, BUT i wont love you!

Excruciating; Sigh..

Bed times..

Signing off..

Because I am a girl

Sad yet touching

Clips

Fast and hassle free.

Unbelievable!!

Tired But Enjoy

I had been spending few hour just to fix the blogs theme and yet it still look suckening. Wanna had different layout instead of the original blogspot layout but i fail to accomplish the mission. In the end it's still the same layout but different background. All the html code make my head spinning round and round. But it's pretty fun at least there is something for me to do during my school holidays. Toking about holiday, it turn out to be the worst holiday i ever had. Tonnes of things happened and the unpeaceful mind of getting my exam result. Gosh!!! It's torturing.

Beauty Sleep

Times to kick myself to bed. Pray hard life will be better tomorrow. Looking forward for good suprise. It's been a looooong time hoping for a better tomorrow. Signing off....

RIP ~ Missing Your Bark

Name: Wan Chai
Age: 3-4 yrs old
Found: RoadSide
News: Past away last week