All about marriage

Suddenly I feel that more and more friends is stepping into marriage. Majority of them are same age from the same school. Kind of feeling fear and it also representthe sign of aging. Times indeed past so fast. It seem like everyone is solemnize their wedding stuff. Out of sudden many question pop out from my mind such as, is wedding really neccesary? It is really very important for human being, to actually walk thru all this process? How can you know whether he is the right guy for you? You know, stuff like that is buzzing me now.

Final exam

1 week to my 1st paper. But im nt rdy for it. Sigh...


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Slacking is over

Times to keep my ass on books nw. No joke no honeymoon. 10 days to go for my first paper. To all my frenz good luck.

Tired

Will take this weekend to relax coz the following week will hv to start revision and prepare for final xm. This is the last semester somehow must pass all, it will be better if pass with flying colour.


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Manicure and Pedicure

Total spending rm 100 for the pedicure and manicure. Regretted so much for the french manicure because i find it doesn't match my toenail color.

*Happy mode*

Today is a spending day. Restock my estee lauder product, change my lens and ........ IPHONE 3gs 16gb white color! Finally i had decided to make a booking and now im waiting impatiently for the iphone to reach my hands. How i wish they call me and say "can you please come and collect your iphone"? WoW HO HO HO.. *slapping* A.W.A.K.E pls!!! hehez.. Now i'll start downloading games and application for *him*. Through out the year 2009, today is the happiest day in year 2009.

1 - 10

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand.. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

Just a Thought

Suddenly recall about past. The combination of 'sweet and bitter' feeling. Human tends to compare past and now, im one of them. If times could restart i will do it better, but it's impossible so we must grab whatever opportunity we have now and future. To be or not to be is up to us to decide. Without realising, people tends to take for granted. Im probably one of them. So, i think i shouldn't be keep complaining. If we think that this is not what we want then put down and slowly walk away, no point keep arguing and discussing since we already been doing all this while. And yet if they cant get the message then no point keep reminding. We shouldn't been over pampered neither we should over pamper someone too. Things have to be fair and square. Don't always take things for granted and hope you are the one who always get the best treatment.

Wish list & To Do List

Wish List
1. Hp (Not yet decide)
2. Laptop battery
3. Audio system (car)

4. New Spectacles

5. Travelling

To Do List
1. Pay Summon (JPJ & Traffic)
2. Revision (QA)

3. Diet? =)

4. Reduce smoking? =)

Don't Underestimated Stress!!!!!!!!!

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. Stress is the trash of modern life - we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life. Stress is an admission of weakness, a cry of defeat to the world. Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths. *Take a deep breathe and let it out from our mind* pretending that i can!!!!!!!!

False Alarm

After 8 month of delay i thought finally my menses came, who know it's just a false alarm. It make me happy for nothing. Duh~ Today is my first day in school, boring!! The 2nd class was so bored until i almost doze off. By explaining and reading the subject outline itself takes about 1.5 hours, that's hell for me. As i expected, bored semester especially looking around are those unfamiliar faces. Well, today i guess I'm pretty lucky to find a car park, coincidence that a girl was leaving so i parked her place at 2nd floor. Hopefully i manage to find a car park tomorrow morning, class started at 9-10.30 then followed by 5.30-7. I got a news that one of my friend was robbed by a man while having her dinner. OMG, Kuching is so unsafe now. Girls, beware of your handbags hold and hug tightly even though you're eating. I should start holding my bags now, usually i left in on the chair which is dangerous to do so. Anyways, bless you friends!! well said by Chinese "small fortune never go out, big one will never come in"... lolss... Anyways, everyone should be cautious because the trend is back. "ROBBER"!!!!!!!!!

Fight Back To School 6

Holiday is over!!!!!!!!!!!! Times to overcome the laziness and start to be serious since it might be my last semester. Holidays are enticing only for the first week or so. After that, it is no longer such a novelty to rise late and have little to do. How to get rid of the lazy worm that stay in my brain, my mind and my soul during the holidays? *hmmm* I predict it will be a lonely semester for me but still i have to struggle through it. Tomorrow i'm going to clear all the books that had piled up in my room. The room is so messy, all the dust and dirt is getting thicker and thicker. It's been quite a while i dint actually clean up my room. Guess it's the lazy worm fault. q:op Been telling myself that "You learn something every day if you pay attention." I believed that every human has four endowments which are; Self awareness, Conscience, Independent will and Creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom. The power to choose, to respond and to change.

Do I Have The Chance To Continue?

I regretted so much for what i did in the past, i'm trying so hard to mend myself but you seem not giving me the chance and let times prove to you that i had actually changed since the day i turn over a new leaf. All you know is nag*3 and scold*3. Sometimes you make me feel like i have not much time left. What i have gone thru, i sincerely advise to those who is much younger then me, study while you can and do whatever your parent think is right; follow their will and you will led a better life in future. First of all, you wont have to listen or face the furious faces. In my daydream how i wish one day there is a huge fortune ($$) drop in front of me. Then i can bravely stood up and says " NOW I DONT HAVE TO DEPEND ON YOU and most importantly live like what i want"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yu huuuu... Back to reality man. DuHhh ~~~ Sigh... The only things i should focus is to get gud marks for this coming semester. To continue my studies or not, well, will see how things goes this years end. When i think about it i feel real stress/pressure!!! *Argh*

How To Remove Car Dents With Dry Ices

Month Of August

Good Morning, it's 6.48am Saturday and i'm still awake since yesterday. Going to my comfortable bed soon. 1st day of August, hoping for a brand new month and i will had an abundance of happiness, good news*es and surprices for this month. There are few commitment to be complete and im now crossing my fingers that i can make it! Times for a change, time for a different, time to motivate myself! GO GO C.H.R.I.S you can make it if you work hard. Prove to urself and be proud of ursef. *wink* 1 week holiday left and next monday have to kick my butt to wake up early for class. It will be a lonely semester for me, as all my new friends in this college will b in different classes but in same school. Gonna miss the one who sit beside me.. Yeah... THAT'S YOU!!!!!!!!!! Well, i'm praying hard everthing goes smoothly for this month. *Crossing my finger* By next week i have to start adjusting my times, bed at 11-12pm then wake up at 8am if there is classes at 8.30 (no more breakfast with YOU?) *S.a.d* I hardly can open my eyes now, time to get up and jump to my bed. But i'm still thinking what should i do after i wake up later? It's Saturday definitely i wont want to stay at home because school kick off on Monday, don't wish to waste this Saturday by staying home. I had enough time wasted at home this holiday *Grumbles* Alright, i'll stop here. Have a nice day to those who read this!!!! @_@

Worst Experience

There again i know something that i wasn't suppose to know. Am asking myself how many times i have to cover for you? Or how many times can i cover it for you? You should be more responsible on what you're doing. This ain't a way to solve your problem, then by letting the problem fall on another person. Do you think it is a right way? Since the day i met you it was the biggest mistake and god are you making fun on me huh? i wanted to admit that fate fall in our hands and now i strongly disagreed. My life seem to be control by you, i have to face what i do not want to face. I have to see wad i don't want to see. And now i have to do something that i don want to do. What is life all about? Hurting each other? Note for you, "You are literally driving me insane"!!!!!

Gorge

I keep gorging myself with foods. It make me more and more bulbous. Probably this is a way to release stress and pressure. When one's get older the more commitment we have to face or deal with. Just done with feet vinegar soaking in order to remove the callous. Feel great and fresh!!

Human Born Are Soft

The sound, The music of F.A.R.T

Lose Control

Learn To Steal ?

Results

Yeshhhhhhh....... Got my results and passed with credits. Work hard and u'll be paid for it. Looking forward for my last semester to start, 3 subject left. Hopefully can get a better result by years end.. *RAWL* Chris you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!! Sadly, left 2 week holiday and i'm still stuck in Kuching.

Tears & Living In Fears

When will it end? Will i just stop crying before bed? Tears come like a flood that as if never goin to dry up. Will i ever know why I fall asleep crying at night. Just the feeling of being alone makes me shudder. A constant war goin on in my body, everyday, every second. When will it end. Feelings take over my body like i have no control. First Im happy, then Im sad, then all of a sudden Im crying. It's pretty sad that the parents you live with, talk about you behind your back. For me it feels like when you lie down on those rafts in the waterand you drift away. But for me, i don't come back. I just keep drifting into space. I don't mean to sound desperate, but will someone please tell me when my tears will dry. When will it end? Everyday living in fear and pressure about something that can actually be predicted before it happened. Someone told me "seek for god's help" but personally i don't think it will help. Problem creates by human, so human have to face and solve the problem. In order to escape D.I.E is the only so called coward solution. I don't mind to be coward if the "road is full of bumpy".

Sushi (3rd Attempt)

Unagi, ebiko, corn, california maki and 3 belly pork sushi maki. Kind of tiring espcially doing the corn and ebiko sushi but worth it. You'll find the fun in between the process. Haha.. 

G.R.I.E.F

How I envy those poets and authors. They can toss words into the air and have them fall in perfect order. Why is it so easy to pour out my grief in a poem? And so difficult to capture joy in print. Joy exists in a fleeting moment whereas grief lasts forever. Takes one to feel grief , two to feel joy. My joy has already been shared and thus multiplied. My grief till now has been private, alone in the dark my grief mushrooms. I need to find a friend to halve the burden. Will you be that friend?

We all grieve differently, some grieve quietly. Solemn in their grief not wanting. To show their pain while some are loud letting the pain out for all to see and then beginning the long battle of healing. Some hold their grief in for so long that eventually it eats at them causing them to misdirect it. In different ways unknowingly pointing, the pain of loss toward others not wanting of it or deserving when instead they should be letting go and moving on. Grief is not a friend for it makes one angry, sad, exhausted, and confused. Grief is an unwanted guest for it stays for a long, long, time. Seemingly never wanting to leave, once in a while it will allow some peace but for only a brief time span, It would rather curl it’s black tentacles around and keep you in it’s grip forever and then one day you realize you are starting to feel a little better. As the seasons change so do we in time, we shall heal and start to get back into routine and realize grief is finally packing up to end it’s long overstayed visit for it was a long process this visit from grief. Each day gets a little better keep on moving, stay busy. One day, Grief is finally gone until the next time it is required to visit again.

"Grief is a feeling like you’ll never let go. It sounds like the sobbing of a broken heart. It tastes like a desert, dry and flavorless. It smells like freshly turned dirt on a grave. Grief feels like you just can’t go on."

Having the love of your life, break up with you and say "we can still be friends" is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it."

Maid Of Honor (Bridesmaid)

St Joseph's Church (From left to right - Brother, Mum, Dad, Me), taken in 5-6 yrs ago?)

(Brother, Me) Photo retaken from the 'paper photo' using a handy cam, that's why it so blurry. The only white dress i worn before. Memories~

Beetle

Cook & Eat Alive

H1N1 Song

Self Console

I had finished up all the durian bought yesterday, full and satisfy. Decided to sit down and write something for this blogs. Well, 17th days had past but things still in the same order. I cant get rid of that matter yet, he had crossed the line!

Do you know that inside every one of these flower lives a flower spirit. They're even smaller than our fingers, on their back they all have a big and transparent pair of beautiful wings. However, one flower spirit looked different from the rest. Its back do not have a pair of beautiful wings, but only a pair of tiny buns an unappealing pair of buns. Other flower spirit laughed at it because of this and said that it's not a flower spirit. They all refused to be its friends. When other flower spirit dance happily in the air, it could only walk on the ground with its two legs. It started running very hard to catch up with the rest. Run.. and run.. until it was so tired that it fainted on the ground. When it woke up, it felt its back hurting very badly, it turned to look and saw a big and beautiful pair of wings. It was so happy. From then on, no one ever laughed at it again. "Am i the flower spirit or just a grass spirit in a big flower garden"? i don know how long i can survive. Sigh~~ Sleep. Get a good night sleep, when you wake up you will see that you've also grown out a pair of colourful wings And you'll feel better! - Self Console!!

Firework

Firework (Outside My House Compound)

Durian

Had some durian just now about 3-4 hour ago. I start to burp and it all smell of durian. Bought 4 durian rm30. Had eaten 2 and left 2 in d fridge, continue tommorrow.

Missing The Memories

Shot some of the picture thru the wash out picture using "modern camera", dat's the reason why it is so unclear. Sorry about that :o) Some of the picture are actually out of colour so decided to post some in my blog before it really ruin. Miss the memories, no stress and all we know is just play! Life now is different, got to be responsible on every action we take, think twice before doing. That's the sign old "aging". Friends remmember all this fun loving time? Well, not much friends know about this blogs actually.. Hehez..

World Guiness Book Record (Dummy) Part 2

World Guiness Book Record (Dummy) Part 1

 

Meow Meow~

    FaFa

DoDo

Kuching

Matang
Sematan Beach
Damai Beach Resort

A Girl Been Neglected

In the dark corner sits a girl, she hardly speak up her mind to anyone. A lost and lonely girl who sheds a single tear thinking she has not purpose in life. Mom and dad don't really care, she doesn't have value in life. Never anyone there to help her with her strife and tripping over problems. Or simply just don't understand my situation and thinking. All they care is what they want me to do. But never ask me whether i can or not, am willing to do it or not, am i able to do it or not. She desperately wish that there was someone to help her on her way and bring her far far away from this place. A single friend in life that really truly cares but no one is found. At her fragile heart it tears a sad and lonely life she lives. So she sits in the corner and cries. Hurt her arms a little and wishes she would die so the misery will no more. So listen to me I'm trying to make you see for that girl in the corner that lonely girl is me!!!!

Sometimes i wish i was a little girl again because bruised knees heal faster than a broken and disappointed heart especially to a lost girl. My sister told me this before, "Sometimes we have to do tasks that we may not be interested but along the way we may develop interest or even find something else of interest. If we don't go out and try, put in effort how can we know what we want?" Honestly, i want to reply her "I want to try, I want to put in effort but please don't pour cold water on me when i'm trying"! As a parent they should encourage not pouring cold water on me when i'm on my way to change. I know it's a shame that you had this kind of daughter, i remembered clearly how you compare me to others daughters. BUT do you think i want to be your daughter? Naturally i blamed you for bringing what i am today, but i shoudn't think it this way. After all it's my own fault! I want you to know nobody is born flawless. I feel pressure to face you. I envy those who are able to talk, jokes and doing things together with their family. I'm the one who always been left out during dinner. Sitting there like a fool, everyone is busy talking about their stuff. A family dinner is all about business? I hate what i have now. Not a single things went smoothly.

I've made a mistake in my life. I've let people taking advantage of me and i accepted way to less than i deserve. I just want you to know, "I'm done pretending! I want to tell you "No, i'm not okay with the fact that you broke my heart and disappointed me way too much"! I know what's in your mind, I know you know that you know me so well that you think what you did can be forgiven. I know you think i can easily forgive and forget. But i just want you to know for the very last time, i will prove to you that "NO, You don't know me well at all"! Let me prove to you, how heartless can a girl goes if one day she really get fed up. I dare you to challenge me this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eggs??

What eggs is this? Anyone?? Look like table tennis ball to you? Let guess..

Serikin

The road to MJC and serikin. Take about 10 minutes to reach MJC and 1 hours drive to serikin town. It is near to the indonesia's border. Able to find those limitation goods such as lv, gucci, prada, etc , local handicraft and so on. Around 30-40 roadside stores. Most important you are able to get something which you cant find it often/always in town and which is the illegal turtle eggs. Open only on saturday (Whole day) and sunday (half day).

This is one of the cave located near Serikin. It's the view from the main road. The entrance fees is Rm 8 per adult and Rm 4 per kids. From there take about 20-30 minutes drives to reach Serikin. Actually i forgot what's the name of the cave. Hehez.. There are few caves located near that area.

Tortoise?

A restaurant located outside the cave.





Finally, SERIKIN!!!!!!!











Roadblock, but i din't see any policeman!! Maybe out for lunch :o)

My Friends

Hey friends (especially those who leave me a comment out there), I appreciate your kindness more than words can say. The very nice thing you did for me and it really made up my day.

Thank you friend, for all the things that mean so much to me. For concern and understanding you give abundantly.
Thanks for listening with your heart for cheering me when I'm blue. For bringing out the best in me and just for being you.
Thanks for in-depth conversation that stimulates my brain. For silly times we laugh out loud and for things I can't explain.
For looking past my flaws and faults. For all the time you spend. For all the kind of things that you do.

Thank you, thank you friend.

MJC

Sorry for the blurry picture. Anyways, what this tent for in a food/funfair?



TA DAAAAAAAAAHH

TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Left for guy, Right for girl Well, i know it's lame but i never seen this before.